The Mc Bad Choice

My brain is laced with congealed fat and genetically modified whatever, so this entry will be poorly written...although, I think that is normal for me. Anyway, I give you the thoughts, *actions*, and "words" (and commentary!) that all came together today to make...

The McBad Choice.

via

I'm running out of money! Hurry up fall semester! I need my financial aid. I should try to save money and hit up the old McDollar Menu during my lunch break at the temp job I've taken up (and surprisingly enjoy) to make ends meet during the times I'm not working as an unpaid intern (which I also enjoy). *Walks up to counter and am informed that my order does not compute* WHAT?! A MCDONALD'S WITH NO DOLLAR MENU? Blasphemy! ...Shit! What should I order??? *panic mode* "Uh... I'll have a number 4 with Dr. Pepper." What did I just order? ( FYI: Asking for a number 4 at McDonald's will get you two cheeseburgers a medium fry and a medium soda. Why I didn't just ask for a regular cheeseburger instead is a mystery.) I'll sit at this small table to eat my enormous meal in peace and shame. *Family walks in with no less that 8 screaming children and two sleeping children in a double stroller, sits down at all the tables surrounding me, and two of them sit at my table. Without asking me if I'm okay with that.* (Literally. <--I am using this word correctly, not to indicate hyperbole.) These people are lucky I'm doing my internship in pediatrics, and I like kids! For all they know, I'm one of those bitches with a hostile womb who hates children! Or, a well dressed crazy person! ( I know that's not what a hostile womb is. Just work with me here.) *React to the child kicking me under the table by inhaling my fries and second burger at an alarming and impressive rate.* I really want ketchup. But if I get up, I might lose my seat, my meal or both! *continue to eat fries as they are*. *Collects things and clear out as fast as I can. My chair is swallowed by the crowd and I run out of there.*

*Halfway back to the office* Let me check the time on my phone. Where is my phone? CRAP! *Runs back to McHell* *Snatches phone from the middle of the table, which goes unnoticed by screaming children and broken parents*

*Day goes by...* I'm never eating anything that's not a homemade fruit smoothie, ever again.

*Goes home and showers grease and sin away*. * Lover comes home and surprises me with donner kebab for dinner*! *I pretend to be dainty for 5 seconds before polishing it off like a boss*. *PAIN* I think I might be able to withstand childbirth without drugs after this.

FIN